Let’s have another controversial blog entry today (the hate mail will flow, the hate mail will flow)! The subject is gays and gay marriage. I am going to try to state my position as clearly as I can, which is probably pretty contrary to a lot yours. First, I have friends who are gay, homosexual, living an alternate lifestyle, whatever you want to call it. They are really my friends and they know my opinions, but we are still friends, I hope you will see why. I do not hate, fear or dislike gays. I have trouble understanding the lifestyle, I think it’s weird, not necessarily ‘evil’ and I think that in some cases it may be dangerously unhealthy. As a Christian I really do believe in ‘hate the sin, not the person’. Hate is strong word for me; it’s more, think it’s wrong because it is specifically called out as a sin. But then so are a number of things that we, and I include myself here, do each and every day.

I think that the whole gay marriage thing is pretty much stupid. Sorry, but I do. Marriage was a biblical institution that was carried over into the secular world (why do you think most of them are done in places of worship?). Now, if the only reason for ‘marriage’ is to make sure that you have the same benefits as a married man and woman, okay, I get that, but most large companies that I know are doing that anyway these days with civil unions and ‘life partners’ and whatnot. If the purpose is to shout to the world, “Look, we’re married!” that’s hubris and pretty pitiful. If the purpose is to ‘show how much we love each other’, it’s too late, you should already have known that and so should the people who you really care about. If it’s to push ‘acceptance in society’, I get the feeling that you are somewhat insecure about what you are doing and may need therapy to feel better about yourself. Seriously, what ‘civil rights’ are being infringed upon here? I don’t believe that gays should be discriminated against; I simply fail to see the real value of ‘gay marriage’ except to create an issue that somehow highlights gays and keeps them in the news.

As I see it, marriage should really have only one purpose and it’s the same reasoning that Robert A. Heinlein gave for marriage, “to raise and protect children”, though I fully imagine Mr. Heinlein would have had no problem with gays or anything they did. He might be amused, but he would have had no problems with it. Raising and protecting children is normally done when you have partners that can physically reproduce. If gay couples are physically reproducing, please let me know first because I want to break the story here.

Look, I am being blatantly honest here and will probably get in trouble with the person I’m married to for it. If I had not intended to ever have children, I probably would not have gotten married (and been dead long ago). I got married long before I became a Christian. Living together is considered a sin, but I wasn’t a Christian then and, though I love my wife and fully appreciate that she would never have gone along with it (she did have a Christian upbringing), living together would have been just fine with me. But since I always knew that I would have kids some day the contract that marriage creates to help bring those children into the world and raise them was a necessity to my mind. And yes, I know how easy divorce is, but I also know what divorce does to a family, especially to the children and do not like or support divorce based on that, not biblical principles.

I do understand that there are gay couples out there that are trying to raise children. Some are from one partner’s previous non-gay marriage and some are trying to do it from adoption. If that is the reason for your gay marriage, okay, I get that too (back to my whole not getting the lifestyle thing though). But honestly, how many are really into gay marriage for that purpose? If you are a gay couple trying to raise kids, I really do wish you the best of luck, it’s hard enough when you are a ‘straight’ couple. I can’t even imagine the whole explaining two dads or moms thing and having it make sense.

Now, if you are a Christian or Jewish, religion (and tradition) says marriage is between a man and a woman (sorry guys, it really does). In Christianity (and Judaism) it is rebellion against God to simply live together. In other words, it’s a sin. I wouldn’t, and couldn’t do that today. There are gays who consider themselves Christians (and yes, God does still love you, so for my Christian friends who condemn gays, get a grip). I’m not exactly sure how they justify their lifestyle biblically and continue in it, but I’m not God and don’t have to be the one figuring it out. Yes, I do pray for my friends, gay and straight and no, I don’t really believe in the whole ‘living together’ thing anymore. I guess that’s the whole point of being changed, ‘becoming a new creation’.

So, I love my gay friends, don’t like their lifestyle and I think gay marriage has no a valid purpose. I do want to clarify; there are some who think that gay marriage helps to undermine the ‘family structure of marriage’. There are some who say that it doesn’t and can’t. My opinion is that anything that muddies the waters by not having a valid purpose behind it will cause confusion and controversy.

Let the flaying begin (but be mindful of my Ts and Cs which you can read in an earlier blog entry)! More later…

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3 Responses to Why Not Another Controversy?

  1. Please explain what you mean the gay lifestyle?

  2. docdigit docdigit says:

    In this context I simply mean a homosexual relationship rather than a heterosexual one.

  3. Todd says:

    Well, I’m with you. I do believe “marriage” is a religious idea -a contract between three ‘people’ God. A contract between two people without God should not be called a marragie -no matter the sexual relations of the parties. I also have had homosexual friends but both said they were christians, they struggled with their ‘sin’ and I can relate as any other (if one is a honest christians, lol). I do think homosexuality is unnatual and they (the homosexual) would be dishonest with themselves to deny it -but so is wearing clothes on a hot summer day. I’m not crazy about most of christian dogma, but do agree with what Jesus (Yeshua) said about loving others. I believe loving them is also about loving myself for who I really am: a human being who struggles with their frail body and mind and dealing the harsh realities of surviving in this world. We should our spend at time improving each others lives not mistreating people because of their sexual proclivities.

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